Saturday, 4 July 2009

My form guide - more lies ahead

This is my first and possibly last ever form guide for the worlds. And only for the people that I know. Its quite possible that it's right but its more likely that its wrong and it's based on my warped syntax rather than any logical theory.

So here we go.

1st place overall.

Arnaud Psarofaghis. Switzerland

Physically lazy, mentally strong and battle hardened recently. Will probably win by miles unless I can lead him a stray with a few well timed night outs down the local strip club. More talent in his little finger than most have in their whole body. Annoyingly good and a reminder of how it could have been if motorcycles, alcohol and women hadn't got in the way.

2. Nathan Outteridge. Australia. Seemingly perfect sailor and looks like the bloke from that gay cowboy film. Accordingly might attract persistent, distracting and unwanted attention from the locals.. I could be wrong, but don't drop the soap mate.

3. Amac. Australia. If he was a horse you might shoot him but now seemingly the Benjamin Button of Moth racing. Will redefine what fast is. Starting and tacking are areas of concern. New starting procedure as follows.

a. Wait for starting siren
b. Drain glass.
c. Confidently engage full ahead.

Tacking procedure as below

a. Wait for layline or shore
b. Drain glass.
c. Purposefully push helm down
d. Alight onto centreboard

4. Scott Babbage. Europe. Rumours from down under says he's fast with something in reserve, actually Italian so arguably on our side for the Ashes series.

5. Charlie McKee. USA. Form, grace and style. Will go ballistic if anyone starts pumping. Rightly.

6. Rohan Veal. Australia. 20 knots upwind indicates a rigging error and the subsequent use of rope as a tiller extension. So low he will be knocking holes in the banks of the Columbia River. Entirely possible Rod nicked the original to use as the "tiller of doom".

7. Bora Gulari. Excess windage and a choice of too much kit could be his downfall. Rumoured to have 10 masts. Good news for the organisers as the sponsorship didn't stretch to event flag poles...Pick the right stuff though and he'll fly. And the helicopter won't.

8. Kevin Hall. Will bugger off into the distance like the Millennium Falcon on the Kessel run in over 20 knots. Will hold his own in a lot less.

Others to watch:-

- Dalton Bergan. Mach 2 fast and one of the band of great USA 49er sailors.

- Morgan Larson. nearly as above.

- Jonathan Mckee. Fast DNA and proven mental strength by way of racing the Barcelona double handed race with a howl at the moon crazy Spaniard.

- Mike Lennon. Will probably arrive as British National Champion. Fast, but tacks slower than a Hobie cat.

I haven't included myself cos Scott doesn't, no other reason really. I just thought that was what you were supposed to do.

In truth though any of the above could finish in any order.


Fred said...

What a great laugh this entry gave me...Still smiling about the rigging error... told ya, you can be a Poet and a bloody fast sailor, if these wonderful and life enriching distractions (m,a,w) would not have come your way...

allthewaywithusa said...

Bora will be leaving nothing to chance so dont be surprised if he shows up with a buzzcut. i will tell you for free - this will be his year.

Anonymous said...

Quote:- "Annoyingly good and a reminder of how it could have been if motorcycles, alcohol and women hadn't got in the way"

You were hardly the Oliver Reed of your time!!!!

Anonymous said...

More Beryl Reid!

Blair & Tanya said...

Just discovered your little place on the web. Very entertaining. Used to know your brother Joe in University - hope he's well and surviving the recession (I'm an architect as well unfortunately).

Blair Stanaway