You Send Me Flying

A while back we were reading articles about how the Beijing smog was going to damage athletes health. Some poor lambs were even considering not competing, in case they got a spot. Yet now a week after the event I read there were 32 world records broken. This is surprising. You would imagine the athletes to be slower, and less strong, but the opposite is seemingly the case. It is clear to my mind that there was an additive in the air, and I can relate to this. Whenever I go to a place with nice clean fresh air, I fall asleep.

So to me it's clear that nature needs a helping hand. It doesn't always get it right, if it did we wouldn't have 350 different kinds of parrot, and nipples on men. Anyway let's see what the human body can do. I'd love to see the first posthumously awarded gold medal as someone streaked over the finishing line in 6 seconds, and then.. exploded. Hell that's television.

I have now started a small business importing Beijing Air into the UK. A couple of sucks before the off and a swig of "Beijing swimming pool water" (25 of those records were set in the pool) and you'll be all set for next years worlds. And you'll need to be, because, over there the air is so sweet, clean and pure, you'll fall asleep.

And so to 2012 where we will attempt to host "the best games ever". And where China had smog and err...weed, we have the shit weather and frankly the shit country to deal with. And as one TV critic speculated, forget 500 choriographed dancers, the best way to reflect the culture of the country would be to get a pissed up Amy Winehouse to throw her fag into the Olympic torch.. Then we'll all go for a curry...