National Trust

Its the UK nationals this week and I'm not really ready. I've wanted to be ready and nothing should have really stopped me, but other little things just keep coming up. I've tried to supplement dodgy boat handling by acquiring the ability to read peoples minds but when everyone was at Weymouth and I was at Hayling it was clear that wasn't going to work either. Anyway I've decided to be positive and conclude that it takes immense skill to waste so much preparation time.

I am not a jealous man. I do not sit around all day coveting your friggin private jet or your hair, but I was jealous yesterday. Specifically jealous of Richard Loverings tacks. They were so much better than mine, which weren't really tacks but a pathetic luff head to wind followed by a capsize. I only won the club race because the boat hauled me to the front, and we hit 24.7 down wind in a bumpy Chichester harbour.

Will it do at the Nationals? No I doubt it, and I will have to find other ways of getting to the front. Work will mean I cant get there until Wednesday which wont leave much time, but a quick call to UK Border Patrol seems to have kept the Swiss out for another day and I may build on Phil Stevensons law and claim that you cant be UK national champion unless you have survived the blitz and find it impossible to speak French...