Wednesday, 11 June 2008

A different drum

The government is running TV ads to educate people on how many units they should drink. These ads go something like this "Hello darling would you like a drink?" "Oh thanks honey I'll have a glass of two units please" It's big brother indoctrine devised by career minded politicans who can't find any other way to differentiate themselves now the Euro sausage debate is done. All parties are of course the same, and this shallow caring does nothing more than serve to remind people to emmigrate one day.

Bring back the House of Lords, where people were already rich, and despite being interbred, made decisions for reasons other than their own personal wealth. Anyway some physician, who was presumably an alcoholic, says you are supposed to only drink 8 units a week, which OK I'll go along with, but thats a bit vague...where's the small print? Can you save it up, not drink for a month, and then drink 32 units on saturday night? Is that OK darling? Tossers.

And with the country plummeting into recession, plus the fact that we didnt qualify for Euro 2008, there has in my opinion never been a better time to drink. Reality is such a tenuous thing and I advocate the less obvious benefits of smoking too. By my calculations smokers get about 2 1/2 weeks more holiday a year than people like me. Granted its taken in 15 minutes chunks, and most of that is hanging around outside by reception, but that's up to them, we cant all afford to travel.

But there are other benefits too. In stressful situations doctors advise us to leave our work stations, go for a walk and take a few deep breaths. Yes you got it folks. That's smoking! Anyone ever done a study of how many people are still alive because they smoke?

So it was great to smell pipe smoke wafting across the water at last weekends national championships, a Devon Yawl sailor, on the start line having a drag before its banned.

I sailed yesterday with Tim Boon, the sky was azzura blue and the sea was the same colour, it was heaven. And two fallen angels smoked across the harbour.

Please God dont let that ever be banned.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

please!
keep on writing like this!!

Anonymous said...

Have you been banned from a bar? Yes, there will be a tax for sex next and everyone will pay it as they wont like to admit that they are not getting any!
V

phil said...

Hi Simon,

I've never met you before and I've only just taken my first step in a moth this evening but I have to say, your threads make me laugh. It's refreshing to know that there are still people out there who are prepared to talk the truth and not join the sheep and just go along with everything!

Keep up the good work and maybe some day, more and more will follow your example!

Phil
www.mothflyers.co.uk

Anonymous said...

The truth......Mmnnnn, after centuries of struggle to remove those of privilege from making ill informed self indulgent decisions with no mandate from anywhere, Simon advocates bringing back this largely discredited establishment on the grounds he likes to get plastered and doesn't like being told it may damage his health!
And critisising career minded politicians trying to make a name for themselves on a blog that should really be titled "look how good I am at sailing" is a bit rich!
But keep up the incisive comment, Its always worth a laugh.

Simon Payne said...

People are entitled to opinions, just because they differ from your's doesnt make them wrong.

Re sailing. Its easy to be patronising under the anonymous tag eh?