Tuesday, 4 March 2008

The Prince of Tides

I dont know about you, but I dont understand spread sheets, or boat design, which to me is about as interesting as internet dating. So I've got to be honest and say that I've always chosen my boat by how the they look. And by and large it works.

And as I walked around the London Dinghy Exhibition last weekend I began to fancy one boat in particular.

Every moth design looks different, that's the great thing about our development class, I love the above shot of my Prowler Zero, it's a handsome boat, but not subtle or particularly slim. My mum would like her, and yet from some angles she reminds me of the Battle of Britain.

The Bladerider is a looker alright, the wing bars are a work of art and should probably be in the Tate Modern, but there are so many around, and sorry sweet heart, its not you its me, I pulled your mate last week.

The new Velociraptor has "technical" written all over it, she's a beauty and born to perform yet from some angles I'm not completely sold. The need for speed has minimalised everything and that low cut snout and high forehead makes it look like a pissed off Frenchman ..

And then you see the Axiom, and it stops you dead! I'm not joking by saying I think this is the best looking moth ever produced. From the back she's just right, all the curves, a minimal waste and wing bars that cross the boat at 90 degrees like the leather ties on a 2005 Prada techno dress.

And with this Mike Cooke created the Kiera Knightly of boat design, and then he did something strange.

He stuck Barbara Streisands nose on it.

And I think its bloody brilliant! It looks like a Roman Emperor who's just been scooped up by a chariot. It looks angry, it looks agressive and I can hear it saying "you can stuff your spread sheets up your arse"

And then there's the foils, what possessed Mike to turn up the corners in such a fine arc as that I've no idea, again I know bugger all about boat design but I do know that Aladdin had tuned up shoes, and by God they worked for him.

And so if he gets it in the right hands and it wins some races I think it will sell and sell well, just like Streisand and her albums like "The Prince of Tides" .

In fact only Elvis and the Beetles sold more.


Anonymous said...

Don't defile Keira Knightley with Streisand's shnoz!

Anonymous said...

Oi! We love that nose. One of the best. You don't get tonal range and volume like Barbs without some decent nasal cavities.